His Role

The Problem

Feminism teaches (in general) that men have no special value and (in specific) that women don't need men to provide for, protect, or lead them. It is true in our day that women can easily support themselves, women are rarely "in danger," and women need no leader.

But how does this description of a man differ from the description of a barren woman? He certainly cannot bear children. Being left with nothing else that is more (or merely different) than a woman, the metaphor is complete. It is quite understandable that men reject nothingness, just as women weep over barrenness.

And behold, the men have their revenge! Men are often found idling about, leaving duties undone, and becoming altogether passive (at least at home). These are the men who are esteemed as being equivalent to barren women.

The Insight

Tradition illuminates that the foundation of a man's self- respect is a necessary and useful role in life and in the home. But further, his self-image cannot bear the thought that his role can easily be performed by a woman. Men don't usually know why they want a distinctly masculine role. But, deep thinkers explain that men are trying to compete with the clearly superior achievement that women attain through bearing children. What in a man's life can ever begin to compare in meaning to such a strenuous, even life threatening, role?

His Responsibility

In our post-feminist world, a man needs to be up and doing to qualify for his masculine role in the home. He must prepare for, then carry out the duty of providing for his family. To this he must add more hard work in protecting his wife (and children). Once he masters these two duties, he can legitimately begin to exercise the crowning masculine role of leading the family.

My research is less explicit on what tasks fall within these three duties (providing for, protecting, and leading), but I would like to begin the conversation with the following:

Providing originally consisted of generating food, clothing, and shelter. Can men reasonably expect this duty to be complete after only generating money? No one can eat, wear, or be sheltered by money (especially direct deposits). I submit that his duty to provide requires a man to work harder than his wife. This total effort calculation includes his outside employment, and his protecting and leading at home.

Protecting extends beyond the thankfully rare problems of assault and theft. A man should actively protect his wife from hard labor (rodents, car maintenance, heavy lifting), difficult situations (financial stress, difficult people), and mistreatment (by children, by him, by herself).

Leading the family leverages the same planning and supervising tasks that are customary to a quorum presidency and outside employment. When a man feels needed and excels his wife in his masculine duties of provider and protector, he will have the courage and confidence to lead. Such a man will watch over his family as his most important stewardship.

Keep Reading >> Her Relationships

See previous article in series: Feminism, Post-Feminism, and Traditionalism